Finger Lickin' Good ...or is it?!?

In the name of God, The Most gracious, The Most Merciful 

The next ‘topic’ I felt like exploring was one which we all (unfortunately) have done or still do sometimes without even realising we are doing it. What I’m talking about is backbiting... 

Allah says in the Qur'an in Chapter 49Al Hujarat verse 12: 
"O who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other nor speak ill behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would abhor it. But fear Allah. For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful. 

Ok so we all know it’s wrong, and we all know backbiting has been at the heart of many arguments we’ve had with family, friends etc so WHY do we keep doing it? Before I go on I would like to say I’m talking to myself before I’m talking to anyone else, so do not take anything personal :) 

I’m not going to sit here and give examples of backbiting as we all know what it is but let’s make a solution to this major problem most sisters and brothers have. What can we do to minimise and then inshAllah stop talking about people behind their backs, how can we stop spreading rumours about others?? 

I’d like to compare backbiting to chicken, yes that sounds quite funny but hang in there, as we know from t he above Qur’anic verse that backbiting is like eating the flesh of your dead brother, so if we say just for a second that backbiting is like chicken, make that fried chicken with lots of oil, the more we eat the unhealthier we get, and if we order a side of chips, then this is adding to our poor health. This side of chips can be analogous to the ‘friend’ who joins in with us or the friend who begins the backbiting. Then we have the salad, on the surface yes it’s healthy, a lot of the times we may order a salad so that we don’t feel guilty for what we just eat, but our salad is what we tell ourselves openly or privately afterwards, the usual ‘But its true!!!’. This is what takes away some of the guilt of talking bad about someone and a lot of the times makes you feel like you are right to talk about them in that way.. But as the following Hadith will tell us, whether it’s true or not it’s still a sin! 

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said:"Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "God and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of God s.a.w said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him." (Muslim) 

So just like the chicken and chips the more we backbite the unhealthier it is for our souls. 

So what can we do to avoid backbiting?? I tried my best to put together a few pointers: 
1) If a friend begins to talk about someone CHANGE THE SUBJECT it’s not as hard as it seems, start talking about what’s going on in your life not theirs 

2) If you ever feel you’re about to talk about someone then try your best to bite your tongue, think of eating the flesh of your dead brother- its obviously not a very nice picture 

3) If someone has angered you so much to the point that you feel you must talk about it...why not sit down with the person who said those things and talk your differences through 

4) If you feel you cannot do that then ask Allah for patience, "And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah.'' (42:43) and forgive them. 

5) And IF you have already done the deed then ask forgiveness from that person so Allah may forgive you inshAllah. 

If we all tried to stop backbiting then inshAllah it could come to the point that a 3rd party wouldn’t even have to be mentioned in a conversation between two people! 

As mentioned before these pointers are definitely to myself before anybody else, so do pray that inshAllah I can stick by them. 

A few things to finish with: 
Behold, you received it on your tongues, and said out of your mouths things which you had no knowledge; and you thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of God (24: 15) 

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said: "Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse, I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise." (Bukhari and Muslim) 
Please forgive me for any mistakes, forgive me if I have ever intentionally or unintentionally backbitten or slandered your name, I sincerely apologise, May Allah guide us all. Ameen.