In the name of God, The Most gracious, The Most Merciful
The next ‘topic’ I felt like exploring was one which we all (unfortunately) have done or still do sometimes without even realising we are doing it. What I’m talking about is backbiting...
Allah says in the Qur'an in Chapter 49Al Hujarat verse 12:
"O who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other nor speak ill behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would abhor it. But fear Allah. For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.
Ok so we all know it’s wrong, and we all know backbiting has been at the heart of many arguments we’ve had with family, friends etc so WHY do we keep doing it? Before I go on I would like to say I’m talking to myself before I’m talking to anyone else, so do not take anything personal :)
I’m not going to sit here and give examples of backbiting as we all know what it is but let’s make a solution to this major problem most sisters and brothers have. What can we do to minimise and then inshAllah stop talking about people behind their backs, how can we stop spreading rumours about others??
I’d like to compare backbiting to chicken, yes that sounds quite funny but hang in there, as we know from t he above Qur’anic verse that backbiting is like eating the flesh of your dead brother, so if we say just for a second that backbiting is like chicken, make that fried chicken with lots of oil, the more we eat the unhealthier we get, and if we order a side of chips, then this is adding to our poor health. This side of chips can be analogous to the ‘friend’ who joins in with us or the friend who begins the backbiting. Then we have the salad, on the surface yes it’s healthy, a lot of the times we may order a salad so that we don’t feel guilty for what we just eat, but our salad is what we tell ourselves openly or privately afterwards, the usual ‘But its true!!!’. This is what takes away some of the guilt of talking bad about someone and a lot of the times makes you feel like you are right to talk about them in that way.. But as the following Hadith will tell us, whether it’s true or not it’s still a sin!
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said:"Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "God and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of God s.a.w said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him." (Muslim)
So just like the chicken and chips the more we backbite the unhealthier it is for our souls.
So what can we do to avoid backbiting?? I tried my best to put together a few pointers:
1) If a friend begins to talk about someone CHANGE THE SUBJECT it’s not as hard as it seems, start talking about what’s going on in your life not theirs
2) If you ever feel you’re about to talk about someone then try your best to bite your tongue, think of eating the flesh of your dead brother- its obviously not a very nice picture
3) If someone has angered you so much to the point that you feel you must talk about it...why not sit down with the person who said those things and talk your differences through
4) If you feel you cannot do that then ask Allah for patience, "And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah.'' (42:43) and forgive them.
5) And IF you have already done the deed then ask forgiveness from that person so Allah may forgive you inshAllah.
If we all tried to stop backbiting then inshAllah it could come to the point that a 3rd party wouldn’t even have to be mentioned in a conversation between two people!
As mentioned before these pointers are definitely to myself before anybody else, so do pray that inshAllah I can stick by them.
A few things to finish with:
Behold, you received it on your tongues, and said out of your mouths things which you had no knowledge; and you thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of God (24: 15)
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said: "Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse, I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Please forgive me for any mistakes, forgive me if I have ever intentionally or unintentionally backbitten or slandered your name, I sincerely apologise, May Allah guide us all. Ameen.
When most of you read that you'll think isn't that something that 50 cent said ..well yes lol but i'd use it here in another more important context. The 'rich' i want to share with you today is the being rich in the eyes of Allah swt not the material wealth most of us asscoiate with being rich.
I was just sitting here thinking randomly about my life, what i've done, said and thought, what i haven't done, when the question came to my mind, if i die tomorrow will i have enough to get me a ticket (so to speak) to paradise? My answer is helll no!
So i sat here trying to find a way out of this problem, and then it came to me, and this is when i really started to realise how i could make it inshAllah..
Paradise as most know cannot be attained without good deeds, and i personally have realised it is difficult to do a good deed yet so easy to do a bad one so i came up with an easy way to try and keep the good deeds up through a simple comparison;
our good deeds and bad deeds are like money! Our deeds are only fully known by Allah whereas the full amount of money we own is probably only known by the bank we keep it in.
When one becomes so wrapped up in this world we end up needing money to enjoy it right? But we all know as muslims that we are only travellers in the world, so why are people killing each other over money?!?! (oil etc) Instead of saving up the paper we need to go and get an advice slip from the bank of Allah and his Prophet pbuh.
If i really want Paradise i must pay for it, i dont need money, no and i sure dont need gold, or cars or a house to do that. I need belief, of course, worship, of course and lastly i need my good deeds.
Think of it this way, when we were babys we had a savings account ready made by Allah swt which was full of good deeds already, (babys can do no wrong) as we grew older we either kept that money or the bad deeds we started to gather together were the withdrawals we made from the cashpoint, so think of all the times we've ever done something wrong and weigh it out with the good, the more bad deeds the less money you have, we may even be in our overdraft by now. The only way we can earn more 'money' is by doing more good. Because at the end of the day, we all want to be left with a glowing bank statement which will give us a one way ticket to Paradise inshAllah.
What im trying to say, if its not too late for me to get out of my overdraft we can all do it with a little effort, the smallest of deeds go a long way, a smile, helping out with the parents, small donations to charity, loving your brothers and sisters in Islam..you guys know the deal ! However i'd like to add we are not meant to purchase Paradise with our good deeds, i am just making a comparison everyone can relate to, because we can only enter Paradise through the mercy and grace of Allah swt.
“Almighty Allah says: “And We shall strip away all rancor from their hearts - beneath them will be rivers flowing - and they shall say: ‘Praise be to Allah, Who guided us on to this. Had it not been for Allah Who granted us guidance, we would not have found guidance. Surely, the Messengers of our Lord did come with Truth.’ Then a voice will cry to them, ‘Behold! This is the Paradise which you are made to inherit as a reward for your deeds.’” (Al-A`raf: 43)
I'd like to finish with a hadith :
Prophet Muhammad (S) said: "There is no person who does not have the obligation of doing charity every day that the sun rises." Whereupon he was asked: "O Messenger of Allah (SWT), from where would we get something to give in charity (so often)?" Prophet Muhammad (S) replied: "Indeed the gates to goodness are many: glorifying Allah (SWT), praising Him, magnifying Him, saying 'There is no god but Allah', enjoining the good and forbidding the evil, removing (any source of harm from the road, listening to the aggrieved, guiding the blind, showing the seeker his need, striving as far as your two legs could carry you and with deep concern to give succour to him who asks, carrying with the strength of your arms (the burdens of) the weak. All these are acts of charity which are an obligation on you." And Prophet Muhammad (S) added: "And your smiling in the face of your brother is charity, your removing of stones and thorns from people's paths is charity, and your guiding a man gone astray in the world is charity for you." (sorry i do not have the exact location of which book this hadith came from :s)
Forgive me for any mistakes made in this note, forgive me for any wrong i may have ever done to you generally i am truly sorry, and pray for me and my family please :) thank you for taking your time to read this i do hope it meant something :s
assalamolaikum
yasmin x
